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1.
sitting on the floor spinning records. it's been two weeks since i started really smoking and now i never want to see a cigarette again. slow sobs slippin' out, i'm falling out of step with my friends, with my one, two, three, four, five dead ends. i am open like a paperback in words i write but never seem to back up with my backbone, cuz i'm weak just like the kid i used to be. i hope these songs mean somethin' to you, cuz i wrote them for you. i wrote them for you.
2.
well ive been smoking out of boredom and living in my bedroom. i'm angry all the time, and it's all because of you. sometimes i cry when i get stoned at home and alone. are you bored of me? am i the kind of boy you want me to be? i hope you think about me when you do little things, like cleaning the dishes or smoking your cigarettes. i think about you when i do little things like laying in bed wishing i was dead. cold coffee tastes like water to me these days; i can't take this silence! i can't take this silence, it keeps me up at night and i am not graceful when i speak or write but i swear that you can tell i care so why do i feel like im nothing to you? this distance is the fucking worst. lets sit in cars and smoke and hate on everyone we know. i'm so angry and sad and lonely and tired all the time. all i ever want to do is die.
3.
ive known you since we were kids and even then i liked you better than my other friends. spent seven years without hearing your name again, and then you came back into my life, two thousand miles away from my life. do you remember how excited you were when you stepped off that plane? i was standing in the terminal and i thought id go insane from waiting. drove home holding hands and laughing/smiling like little kids do, the perfect fucking circle closed. i remember our first kiss, laying on my bed; i started with your forehead, your eyes and the tip of your nose and then i kissed you on the mouth and it was the most alive d ever felt. im sorry that i get emotional about these things but inside, im still just that kid from upper arlington. i took you to all the places that id told you about on the phone, back when i was all alone, and in that park under the stars i thought i could explode and it would feel okay.
4.
i get so mad when i think about your mom and dad and how fucking sad you always seem to be to me. i think you're great, no really don't hate yourself anymore. you're my favorite human. i wanna go on walks and say fuck cops and not give a fucking damn! i wanna hold hands! you think i'm a bitch, i'm sorry that i like you but oh my god i like you so much. i like the way that you laugh and the way we would feel when we touched. lets kiss all over and smash the state while we're at it. i wanna live on a couch with you and do all the things your friends do. lets write poems and lets get stoned if you wanna get stoned. i'll do anything if you wanna do everything!
5.
6.
smash mouth, etc

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released July 5, 2013

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Joe Arpaio and the Bumblebees Phoenix, Arizona

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